I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
