Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
