Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's blow job season.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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