now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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