that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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