I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
