Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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