I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
