So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
