She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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