I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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