just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you had me at cake vodka
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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