It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
