Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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