The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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