Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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