Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
