He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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