Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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