oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
