marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
