omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
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I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
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If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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