I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
