The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
