u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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