If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
