Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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