You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
