she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
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It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
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She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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