He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No subtext here. People are naked.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
