How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
