belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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