is your mom at the bar?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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