If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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