I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
