Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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