How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
