I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
