She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
