life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
