at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
