we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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