All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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