There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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