..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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