whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
