Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
