what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
