Christians are straight up FREAKS
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
