Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I believe in your delicious
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