i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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