maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
