You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
