do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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