i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
