I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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