My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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