I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize