I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
