It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
