The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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