Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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