I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
